#1: Communicate with your vendors

Outside of weddings, I can be pretty introverted myself and I know what it’s like to just need a break from people and stress. I tell my clients there’s two secret “clauses” they can always activate if they’d like. First, an escape clause. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of people staring at you, give me a panicked look and I’ll come tell you about this incredible idea I’ve just had for a portrait that we absolutely have to go and do right now. Then we walk away, and we don’t even have to take a photo. I’ll give you and your partner a break and just walk away if you’d prefer, and sometimes giving you your space can create some incredible photos. Also, a scapegoat clause, if you can blame me for anything and it will save you an argument with a family member or friend, blame me. I will never see these people again. Remember, you can always keep communication through email and text too if that’s more comfortable.

#2: Schedule your own breaks

-When you’re working on laying out the timeline for your wedding day (your vendors can really help with this!) make sure to schedule spots during the day where you’ll have 30 minutes to just be together quietly. I recommend using a 30 minute block so if things are running a little late you still stand a chance of having at least 10-15 minutes to yourselves. These quiet moments can do a lot towards helping introverts decompress throughout what can be a stressful day.

#3: Keep your circle small

-As the saying goes, having too many cooks in the kitchen can make things stressful. Choosing a smaller wedding party keeps your getting ready time quieter and more intimate. Along the same line, cutting down your guest list can also help, the fewer guests you have the fewer interactions you’ll have to keep up with throughout the night. Unfortunately these tactics aren’t always an option, so if you’re still looking at a larger wedding party or guest list make sure to keep #2 a priority.

#4: Set up games tables or small conversation areas as an alternative to dancing

Dancing is fun and all, but it’s also not the only option available. You can set up gaming tables, with tabletop, card or video games, even games like Connect 4 or Jenga. (I once photographed a wedding with the most intense game of Jenga I’ve ever witnessed.) You’d be surprised how quickly people will get competitive, and it can be just as much fun, if not more fun, than a traditional dance floor.

If gaming isn’t your vibe, you can set up some small conversation areas with couches or chairs where smaller groups can get together and talk without it getting overwhelming.

#5: Set a designated go-to person or people that your vendors and family know they can go to with questions instead of you.

There’s a lot of questions and information thrown at you not only when planning a wedding, but during your wedding day. Choosing a member of your wedding party or family who can handle those questions for you can eliminate a lot of your stress. That person needs copies of your timeline and any details you feel are important to your wedding, and let your vendors know who that person is and that you’d prefer they go to your contact first before coming to you.

All in all weddings can be stressful, especially for introverts. Put a few precautions in place, and you can keep yourselves relaxed and happy throughout your whole wedding day.